Maximum Ride Meets Angry Birds
by ChickWithThePurpleGuitar
Summary: "The multi-colored birds with slingshots," Angel explained. When the flock makes a run-in with these strange birds who try to attack them, well, let's just say, things get interesting. Post FANG- sorta . Max's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay peeps. My brother had the idea for this story when I needed a Maximum Ride fanfic. I dismissed the idea, but eventually decided to give it a try. For those of you who answered in my poll that you would read this, enjoy. For those of you who said it depended on whether the story was good or not, well, I'll let you decide. Enjoy people! And please review!**

**P.S. This story takes place during FANG before Total and Akila's wedding.**

**I don't own: MR, Angry Birds, Fang and his awesomeness, or a taco. Sadly.**

**I do own: this story and….no, that's pretty much it. **

Chapter One

"Wait," Angel said suddenly, holding up her hand. I frowned in concern.

"What's wrong, Ange?" I asked her.

Angel tilted her head like she was listening.

I exchanged glances with Fang. _Mind reading? _I asked with my eyes. Fang nodded. _Totally. _

I turned back to Angel as she asked, "Do you guys see any egg-stealing pigs around here? _Green _egg-stealing pigs?"

I blinked a few times; then put my hand on Angel's forehead.

"Angel, are you feeling alright?" I asked.

Angel rolled her eyes. "Yes, Max," she said, pushing my hand away. "That's what the birds are thinking."

"What birds?" I asked, getting more concerned by the minute.

"The multicolored birds with slingshots," Angel answered.

I supposed I should back up a bit before this gets too confusing. I assume you all know at least a little about me and my flock (I mean, honestly people, we've got seven freaking books for goodness's sake), but for you non-knowing idiots out there, I'll introduce myself. My name is Max. Maximum Ride. I live around with my flock: Fang, Iggy, Nudge, The Gasman, and Angel. The story I'm telling you now happened during our sixth book, a couple days before Total and Akila's wedding.

I exchanged glances with Fang again. "Multicolored birds with slingshots?" I mouthed.

Fang shrugged, smirking. I grabbed Angel's hand and dragged her away from our spot in the forest.

"Come on guys. We're going to find my mom," I told the flock.

"Max!" Angel complained, forcing her hand out of mine. "It's true! There are really birds up there, in that tree! They're angry too!"

"Angry birds," Fang muttered thoughtfully. "Where have I heard that before?"

I sighed. "Show me the birds," I commanded.

Angel nodded and closed her eyes. I was honestly surprised she was being so cooperative. Angel had been a little iffy lately, ever since the whole "Fang's death" incident, but she was getting better.

Once Angel was done mind-talking with the birds, she opened her eyes, but didn't say anything. Before I could ask what was up, we were attacked.

"WHAT THE HECK?" I shouted over the sounds of screaming, scratching, fighting, and…pecking.

"Sorry guys," Angel yelled. Apparently _she _wasn't getting attacked. "They just wanted to make sure you weren't pigs."

"Do we _look _like pigs to them?" I shouted back. Angel shrugged.

When the fighting died down, I looked over the birds that had almost killed us. There were two red birds (one big and one little), three identical tiny blue ones, one yellow one (kinda fat), a black one (also pretty fat), and a white one (guess what- it was fat).

The little red one stepped forward as if he were gonna talk and…talked.

"'Ello, love."

**A/N: So, yes, the red bird has a British accent. The other ones' voices are even better. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter. There will probably only be one more, but it depends on you guys. Anyway, review please and I'll give you a cookie!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hola peoples of Earth. I'm back with chapter numero dos. There's gonna be a bit of Spanish in this chapter, so I'm gonna tell you guys the secret to my success: Google translator. Use it and all will be well. Anyway, hope you like the chappie. It's kinda short, but I'll try to get the next one up soon. Review!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Maximum Ride, Angry Birds, or a taco (unless one of you gives me one :) Seriously, please? I really want a taco)**

**Copyright: I own this story, and...that's pretty much it (but, I could have a taco soon)**

Chapter Two

"Y-you can talk?" I stuttered, staring at the smaller red bird.

"Well, o' course we can talk, love. How else d'ya think we moigh' ge' aroun', eh?"

I stared open-mouthed at the talking bird.

"Can you all talk?" I asked.

"Max," Fang whispered, putting his hand on my shoulder. "They can't talk."

I turned to the flock. "What do you mean they can't talk?" I asked, forcing a little laugh.

Fang frowned at me. "They can't talk," he repeated.

"They just make weird birdy sounds," Gazzy added.

I looked back and forth between the birds and the flock. _Can you hear them talking Ange? _I thought, hoping Angel was listening.

_I hear them thinking, but not talking out loud, _Angel answered.

"Great," I muttered, leaning against a tree. "I'm going crazy."

_You're not going crazy, Maximum, _the Voice piped up.

"Oh, yeah, _great _time for _you _to show up!" I exclaimed.

Fang raised an eyebrow at me.

I shook my head. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Are you okay, Max?" Nudge asked.

I ignored her and turned to the birds.

"Can you all talk?" I asked again. That was my first mistake.

"Alrigh', chaps. Say 'ello to the little lady," the red bird commanded.

A green pelican-looking bird that I hadn't noticed before stepped forward. He was…..wearing a wig with…..long…braided hair…and was holding…..a set of…bongos.

"Allo, mon. Join the konga line," the bird said.

_Great, _I thought. _There's a Jamaican one too._ The triangular/fattish yellow bird came forward next, wearing a sombrero and holding a Spanish guitar. How does a bird that doesn't have hands play guitar? The world may never know.

"Buenos tarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdes, señorita," the yellow bird said, rolling his r's. "Me llamo," the bird paused, strummed the guitar three times, and whispered, "Amarillo."

Now, I don't know much Spanish, but I know enough to think that birds should be able to think of more creative names than just the color of their feathers. Or not.

The rest of the birds said hello; the three blue ones morphing into one, then splitting up again to say, "Hi Max," three freaking times; the bigger red one saying nothing but, "Me Red,"; the black one speaking like an army sergeant ("MEN! FALL IN! WE! ATTACK! THE PIGS!); and the white one speaking non-understandable fluent French.

After the introductions had been made and I had explained to the flock what I was hearing, we got down to business.

"So," I began. "The pigs."

"What are they?" Fang asked.

"The pigs are our enemies," the little red bird answered. "They been attackin' us for years! They just always seem to bounce on back. Lit'rally."

I relayed this information to the flock. Then, "Big Brother," as we called the bigger red bird, spoke up.

"Pigs green. Pigs bad. Pigs mutatashaun!"

Mutation. Possibly the longest word BB had ever said, even if he said it wrong.

"They're mutations?" I asked.

"Si," Amarillo answered.

"Who made them?" Angel wondered, although she probably already heard the answer telepathically.

"Las chaquetas blancas," Amarillo spat, disgusted.

I looked to LR (Little Red) for translations. Little Red sighed and reluctantly interpreted.

"The whitecoats."

**A/N: Ooooooooooh, cliffie! Sort of! Hope you guys liked the chapter. Tell me what you thought. I'll try to update soon. Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Zivijo all. That means hello in foreign. Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks to all who reviewed for the last chapter. I really appreciated it. Hope you review again. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, James Patterson does. I don't own Angry Birds either, Rovio does. **

**Copyright: I own the idea. **

**R&R pretty please!**

Chapter Three

"You were made by the whitecoats?" I asked in astonishment.

"That we were, love," LR replied. "The pigs were too."

"Speaking of pigs," a new voice began. We all whirled around to see the owner of the voice. A man in a white coat stood behind us, holding a green ball.

The flock and I jumped up and took our fighting positions. The whitecoat laughed.

"Oh, so you think you can fight _me? _You really think you can destroy _me?" _

Well this guy had an ego. His voice was weird, though. I ran through a list of every stereotype in my mind, but I couldn't place the accent.

_I think he's Finnish, _Angel told me telepathically. I turned to her. _How do _you _know? _I thought.

Angel shrugged. _I saw a movie once where this evil Finnish dude named Michael Rovio wanted to destroy the world and it was really weird because I thought Finland was supposed to be all peace-loving and such, but he was definitely evil and he had a weird accent like this guy's. Maybe it's the same guy! _

I rolled my eyes. _Angel, that was a movie._

_ It could've been a documentary. I don't remember what channel it was on._

I rolled my eyes again. Then I noticed all the others staring at us, looking confused. I cleared my throat.

"So, are you Michael Rovio?" I asked the whitecoat. He didn't seem to like that.

"It's Mobile! Mobile, I say! Mobile Rovio! Why can no one pronounce my beautiful name?"

This dude was pathetic. "What's with the ball?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

Rovio held up his pet ball. The birds behind me gasped. I turned around.

"What's wrong?" I asked them. LR shook his head, backing up.

"Uh, Max?" I turned back to my flock. The ball Rovio was holding had sprouted wings, opened its eyes, and unfolded its ears.

"What _is _that thing?" I exclaimed. Rovio laughed evilly.

"Pig," Big Brother whimpered.

"_That's _a pig?" It was a lot uglier than I imagined. A lot rounder, too.

"PIG!"

Big Brother angrily charged at Rovio and knocked him to the ground. The pig flew out of the whitecoat's hand and flew through the air, flapped its wings feebly, then crashed to the ground and exploded in a small cloud of green dust.

I smiled triumphantly at the whitecoat lying on the ground and waited for him to scream in defeat. What actually happened was nothing like I expected.

He laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And laughed. That left us very confused.

"What's wrong with him? Is he being tickled?" one of the blue birds asked me.

I didn't know how to answer that.

When Rovio finally calmed down and stopped laughing, he stood up and asked, "Did you really think you could end this war by killing _one _pig? Did you _really _think that would make a difference to kill just _one _when I have a _thousand_?"

Rovio raised his arms to the sky and at least a thousand green pigs clouded the air as they flew toward us.

"My army will destroy you all!" Rovio exclaimed. "Now, my pigs, GET THEM!"

The pigs charged toward us as fast as they could and cried,

"OINK!"

**A/N: Hope you liked the chapter. The next one will be coming soon, on one condition. I have to get at least seven reviews (get me up to twenty) for you guys to get chapter four. Deal? Good. Now, press the pretty blue button because you love me!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I AM SOOOOOOOOO SAD! First of all, I haven't updated in FOREVER! Second, this chapter is annoyingly short. And third (and this is the one I'm most ashamed of), THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! I'M SO SORRY! I was totally blocked and I figured after they more-or-less defeated the bad guy, I might as well just do my hilarious ending I've had planned since the beginning and get it over with. So, here you go. Please review! I own nothing btw. **

Oink is a strange battle cry.

Once we were attacked by green balls of pig (who were _really _bad at flying), the flock and I exchanged glances and snapped our wings out, ready to fight.

"Oh, there's no need for that, love," LR assured me. "This is _our _territory. Boys, bring out the secret weapon."

The birds started rushing around LR, pressing buttons on some remote thingy they held while muttering, "The secret weapon, the secret weapon, the secret weapon," or in Amarillo's case, "El arma secreta."

Before any of us could ask what the heck the secret weapon was, LR pushed a giant button on his remote thingy and a giant (and by giant I mean like 30 feet tall giant) slingshot rose dramatically out of the ground.

"Is anyone else thinking of the 2001 Space Odyssey theme right now?" Gazzy asked.

We all raised our hands.

"Ready boys?" LR asked the other birds. They started making weird, birdy noises that apparently meant "Heck, yeah," and one by one, they jumped into the slingshot and launched themselves at the (badly) flying pigs.

And somehow, the birds flattened the pigs just by landing on them. The bad news was, the birds perished too.

"Stop!" I nearly screamed, both to the birds and Mr. Finnish Cell Phone **(A/N: Mobile? Cell phone? Get it? Anyway)**.

"Max, calm down," Fang whispered.

"He's killing them!" I exclaimed.

Fang didn't answer; just gestured at the birds.

I gasped. "The- they. They…they're coming back to life."

"Sweet! Zombie birds!" Gazzy and Iggy yelled.

I sighed. "Okay, listen, you, whitecoat dude, what do you want with the birds?" I asked Rovio.

He grinned maniacally. "What do you think, Maximum? To rule the world!" the evil scientist then began laughing evilly while lightning flashed behind him.

"Well that was overly dramatic," Nudge commented.

"Okay, so _how _can you rule the world using talking birds?" I wondered.

"How do you think?" Rovio asked. "I'll clone them and sell them for ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD!"

I gaped at him. "Dude, they're mutants. They talk! No offense, guys, but they're kind of annoying. No one will want them! That's why _we _don't have families." I paused to smile at my flock. "You know; except each other."

The younger kids gathered around to give me a hug, while Fang and Iggy hung back since they're _way _too cool for that.  
>I heard crying and looked up.<p>

"Th- that- that was so _beautiful_," Rovio cried before bursting into tears again.

"I think this is the first time we've made our enemies cry," Fang muttered.

"Totally," I agreed.

"You're all so loving," Rovio continued. "And you're like a family. And you love each other!"

While the guy continued crying, the flock and I coaxed the birds away from him and awkwardly slipped away,

"Well that was interesting," I commented once we were out of earshot.

"Where we going now?" Fang asked me.

I shrugged. "We kinda gotta do something with the talking birds."

LR stepped in front of me.

"No need, my dear Maximum," he assured me. "We can take care of ourselves. Just know that we are entirely in your debt."

"Yeah," said one of the blue birds. "Thank you Max."

"Thank you," said another.

"Thank you thank you _thank _you," said the third. You now see why I said they were annoying?

"Gracias, señorita. Mi vida te pertenece a ti."

_Angel? _I thought. _Translation?_

_ My life belongs to you, _she replied.

_ Thank you. _

"Max? What are they saying?" Nudge asked.

I cursed under my breath. I kept forgetting I was the only one who could hear them (not counting Angel).

"They're just thanking us. Some saying they're in debt. Some saying so in… Spanish."

Fang nodded.

"So…... uh, bye guys," I then said to the birds.

The birds waved goodbye and flew off.

"Once again, interesting," I told the flock. They all agreed.

"Anyway, let's get going. Hopefully something this…weird won't happen again. Or at least any time soon."

"Max? Max, wake up!"

I groggily opened my eyes.

"Fang?" I managed.

Fang was standing in front of me, where I was half-asleep at my desk, my cell phone in hand. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at me, so I wondered what he'd done this time.

"What happened?" I asked.

Fang smirked at me. "You fell asleep playing Angry Birds and started muttering compliments to yourself in Spanish."

Sigh. Worst. Dream. Ever.

**A/N: Abrupt ending, I know. But that's what I've had planned for a while now. I hope you liked it despite how short and fast the ending came. Please review!**


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